What would YOU do if you CANNOT FAIL; If there are absolutely NO LIMITATIONS in Money, Resources, Time or Networks?

I WOULD FREAK OUT. The insane part of my mind would go into hysterics and it would cook out a plan for world domination. The saner, more dominant (sometimes) part of my brain will check all avenues for success just so it will be absolutely sure that failure is no longer a factor.  WHAT WOULD I DO? I’ll free myself from every single thing that stresses me out. I will bungee jump, I will sky dive, I WILL BE AN ASTRONAUT!

I… I… I…

It’s insane – how a single question could wreck my usually sane mind. If you are really true to your innermost desires you will also answer with “I… I… I…” and not think of anybody else, it’s the typical human psyche at work. Humans, I now concede to this fact, are basically SELFISH. There’s nothing wrong with it, you don’t have to be ashamed about it.  It’s the enlightened ones who will go on to think of others after they’ve gone through the initial “I…I…I…” phase. As for me, I’m not yet through the “I” phase, it’s just too good to be true and I want to enjoy the things that are currently running in my mind. I might go into the enlightened phase or I might not it all depends on how everything is played through in my mind.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

I’ve got nothing to say except W-O-W!!!

Tomorrow I turn 29. I’m trying to think real hard if I have achieved the things I dreamed of when I was just a little girl. And if I am the person I wanted to become back when I was innocent and a little naive. This is a journey down memory lane, random things that I can still remember from my youth…

When I was in kindergarten, I remember being mischievous and I do know that I was never shy. I always got the “Most Friendly” award, maybe because I try to befriend everyone regardless of who or what they are. I remember falling down from the big slide and when my teacher asked me what I want to be when I grow up, I remember saying I want to be an astronaut while all my other female classmates wanted to be nurses or teachers. I never learned how to read until the middle of my 2nd grade, words are meaningless and garbled images to me (I only learned later that there’s a name to what I have, Dyslexia) although, I’m quite adept at Math. I can multiply long before I can read. Thanks to my tutor, I think her name was Ms. Makiling or something… The main motivation for me to learn to read was because my older sister had her name on the honor’s list, she was always 1st honors while I got nothing. Mainly because I can’t read and I don’t pay attention, my GMRC was 76 – but I was really good at Math.

Anyways, I learned to read on my 2nd grade and had the 3rd honors at the end of the year. From 3rd grade up, I got the highest honors and graduated Valedictorian on my senior year. It was tiring, all those studying and keeping up so I decided to slack off when I got into college, more so because I wanted to read and write than actually study and get good grades in Electronics and Communications Engineering. I love Math but I found out that I love reading and writing more – go figure. I did graduate, but I never actually used my degree. I wanted to be an astronaut, remember?

I got pregnant with my little princess while reviewing for the board exam, I did not pass. The reason was not because I was pregnant and could not concentrate, I got high grades on the first two subjects but failed miserably on the 3rd. Failed because I do not know the dimensions of the signage if you want to sell cellphones, yeah, I blame the system. But me failing the board exam did not get me down, and no I never tried again because at the back of my mind I know that if I passed it and got the license that so many companies look at as “gold” I would be obliged to find a job that is suitable for the degree that I have and yes I’ll be miserable. My first official work was as a tech support for Dell, I don’t really hate it, I just thought its not really suitable for me. My second one was as a data encoder then after training an SEO analyst, and I then started ghost writing for SEO ebooks online and also writing thesis for foreign students. After research, I found that web designers and developers get higher pay and so I taught myself how to design and develop websites. It took me about a month to get my act together and when I felt really confident that I can do the job and whatever I still don’t know I can learn without any problem I started looking for clients. I’m a pretty quick study and am able to grasp concepts quite easily and I am confident – both my strength and my downfall.

That’s a quick rundown of what I have achieved so far, but the best one that I have is a loving husband and two very special kids. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, not for all the riches in the world nor all the success not even the possibility of me being an astronaut. So am I happy? Can I confidently say that I’m successful and that I have the life that I dreamed of when I was young? I may not have what I’ve dreamed of, but I am positive that I am very happy with what I have and who I have become – its more than I ever expected and I know for a fact that the future holds a lot more for me and my family.

This story touched my heart and I just want you all to know about it and somehow understand how precious life truly is and how it can be taken away from us in a split second. So hold on to your loved ones, love them like its the last day of your lives. Live, Love, Laugh.

I hurried into the local department store to grab some last minute Christmas gifts. I looked at all the people and grumbled to myself. I would be in here forever and I just had so much to do. Christmas was beginning to become such a drag. I kinda wished that I could just sleep through Christmas. But I hurried the best I could through all the people to the toy department. Once again I kind of mumbled to myself at the prices of all these toys. And wondered if the grandkids would even play with them.

I found myself in the doll aisle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little boy about 5 holding a lovely doll. He kept touching her hair and he held her so gently. I could not seem to help myself. I just kept looking over at the little boy and wondered who the doll was for. I watched him turn to a woman and he called his aunt by name and said, “Are you sure I don’t have enough money”
She replied a bit impatiently, “You know that you don’t have enough money for it. The aunt told the little boy not to go anywhere that she had to go get some other things and would be back in a few minutes. And then she left the aisle.

The boy continued to hold the doll. After a bit I ask the boy who the doll was for. He said, “it is the doll my sister wanted so badly for Christmas. She just knew that Santa would bring it.” I told him that maybe Santa was going to bring it. He said “No, Santa can’t go where my sister is” “I have to give the doll to my Momma to take to her”. I ask him where his sister was. He looked at me with the saddest eyes and said “She has gone to be with Jesus. My Daddy says that Momma is going to have to go be with her”. My heart nearly stopped beating. Then the boy looked at me again and said, “I told my Daddy to tell Momma not to go yet. I told him to tell her to wait till I got back from the store”

Then he ask me if I wanted to see his picture. I told him I would love to. He pulled out some pictures he’d had taken at the front of the store. He said “I want my Momma to take this with her so she don’t ever forget me. I love my Momma so very much and I wish she did not have to leave me. But Daddy says she will need to be with my sister.”
I saw that the little boy had lowered his head and had grown so very quiet.
While he was not looking I reached into my purse and pulled out a hand full of bills. I ask the little boy, “Shall we count that money one more time?”
He grew excited and said , “Yes, I just know it has to be enough” So I slipped my money in with his and we began to count it. And of course it was plenty for the doll. He softly said, “Thank you Jesus for giving me enough money.”
Then the boy said I just asked Jesus to give me enough money to buy this doll so Momma can take it with her to give to my sister.” “And he heard my prayer”
“I wanted to ask him for enough to buy my Momma a white rose, but I didn’t ask him, but he gave me enough to buy the doll and a rose for my Momma.”
“She loves white roses so very very much”

In a few minutes the aunt came back and I wheeled my cart away. I could not keep from thinking about the little boy as I finished my shopping in a totally different spirit than when I had started. And I kept remembering a story I had seen in the newspaper several days earlier about a drunk driver hitting a car and killing a little girl and the Mother was in serious condition.
The family was deciding on whether to remove the life support. Now surely this little boy did not belong with that story.

Two days later I read in the paper where the family had disconnected the life support and the young woman had died. I could not forget the little boy and just kept wondering if the two were somehow connected. Later that day, I could not help myself and I went out and bought some white roses and took them to the funeral home where the young woman was. And there she was holding a lovely white rose, the beautiful doll, and the picture of the little boy in the store. I left there in tears, my life changed forever. The love that little boy had for his little sister and his mother was over whelming.
And in a split second a drunk driver had ripped the life of that little boy to pieces.
V.A.Bailey

I’m not really a whiner, although I do whine when alone… Let’s just say that “I’m not a vocal whiner”, that more or less rings true. I have a “can do” attitude and never say no to challenges, it doesn’t really matter if I know how to tackle it, what matters is I’ve set my mind to do it. I tend to handle everything alone and have this sort of “perfectionist” attitude in dealing with everything, I sometimes (always?) think that I can do it better – that is the bane of my life. I tend to argue a lot when I believe that my stand is correct (and even when its not) and I seldom say sorry when I lose an argument (which by the way, I rarely do… I think). Sometimes when I fall down, I find it hard to stand up, I wallow in self pity for a bit, recalling everything that happened and thinking of “what ifs”. When I was younger, crying is a really rare occasion. Now, I still don’t cry at least not in the presence of someone else.

I know that what I’ve written above doesn’t really make sense, its a sort of revelation that does not matter to anyone else but me. But now that that is out in the open, I just want people to see into their inner selves and try to identify their weaknesses and try to imagine what they would do when faced with the dilemma of climbing out of the deepest ravine of their lives. When you stumble or fall, do you get up? I sometimes think I can’t but so far, I’ve proved myself wrong time and time again. Its been a long time since I went to church and sometimes I forget to pray, but I know in my heart that God is watching everything I do and is waiting for me to call on him whenever I need help and believe me, I needed help a lot of times. I don’t really believe in a one true religion, but I believe that God lives in us and we can talk to him directly anytime, anywhere without any need for a third party. And in the times that I can no longer get up, I always call on Him and He never failed to deliver. It might not be in the way I expect but it will be in the way that will be more beneficial in the long run.

Below is a video that I recommend everyone watch and after watching, ask yourself this:

What have I done to deserve the life I am living right now?

This open source short film makes me want to learn how to use Blender… Big Buck Bunny was unveiled 3 years ago but its magic is still very much alive even until now. My kids love it, we just watched it (3x) a few minutes ago and being open source I am free to show this to you in full. So enjoy the hilarious antics of three nasty rodents and Big Buck’s payback. My little princess literally cringed on the butterfly part, she loves butterflies! For those peeps who want to know more about the creator of this funny and inspiring short film, here’s the link for you –> Project Peach

There are three more open source films made by the Blender foundation and I’ll post them all as soon as I finish downloading them and showing them to my little critics for approval.

I was about to sleep after a really tiring and emotionally draining day and was anticipating a restless sleep when something tells me to check FB. Am I glad I did, I found this video about a call center agent talking with an old guy… I was crying from laughing so hard! This is a must see, I once worked for a call center as a dell tech support and have had my share of really annoying callers but after the call and after finally thinking about what just transpired, it usually cracks me up. My heart is aching, from all the laughing I did and I needed to laugh… Laughter is really the best medicine.

The ones suffering can’t always recognize the rainbow when they see one and it is up to those who can to enlighten them. Everything happens for a reason, it might not be what you expect but these instances good or bad sends out ripples that touches everyone of us.

To our brothers and sisters in Japan stay safe and don’t lose hope, the power of prayers and love are pouring down on you.

Let us all take the time to stop and ponder the reality of our humanity, stop the chatter, stop the war, stop technology for a minute and offer a silent prayer of hope for humanity, ask our Creator to help us understand and accept things because we don’t have the power to stop nature’s wrath but we have the power to understand it and to make the necessary steps to insure our existence.

I’ve been addicted to manga and animes ever since I can remember and until now I still can’t get over them. I can sit for hours reading my favorite manga and watching my favorite animes. I’ve been bored yesterday and started looking for a good anime and I saw someone in facebook mentioning about clannad and how it is the saddest thing ever, and of course curiosity got the better of me and I watched it. The first few episodes were not really that special and I almost stopped but the comments on the show made me watch a few more episodes and found out why a lot of people have fallen in love with this anime. Its a story about love, friends and family and a really, really sad one at that. I still haven’t finished it but I just want to share the chapter about Fukochan which squeezed my heart to tiny bits. I’ll share the one about Kotomi Ichinose tomorrow.

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 5

Episode 6

Episode 7

Episode 8

Episode 9

On September 18, 2010 at Washington Monument 4,800 people will gather to commemorate the loss of US men and women killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

In a respectful march, that commemorate the sacrifice of these men and women, we ask that we march in single file, wearing a uniform, T- shirt (Be All that you Can Be) or some uniform – with an 6 foot piece of rope joined together, an American flag at the front of the parade. a Peace Flag at the end of the parade. Marching to the Vietnam Memorial – where the names will be called out.

More info will be posted on the Be All You Can Be website: namayaproductions.com/latest-projects/beallthatyoucanbe/

1. that no matter how busy you are, you’ll always find a way to do the things you thought you don’t have time to do.

2. that siblings are bound to fight and you can’t do anything to stop the inevitable short of locking them up in separate rooms.

3. that you make your own destiny as long as you have the guts to defy fate and those people who tell you otherwise.

4. that puppies, little boys and little girls no matter how spoiled will always have the power to make you smile and make your day.

5. that work is never work if you love what you do.

6. that people will always tell you things you don’t want to hear but you’ll just have to swallow them like a bitter pill in order to keep your sanity.

7. that santa clause, superman, tom and jerry, kamen rider, super robot monkey team hyper force go and naruto is as real to a 3 and 5 year old as the people you see around you.

8. that kids will always whine when its time for them to sleep.

9. that you’re never satisfied until you hit the motherload or you die, whichever comes first. Either way, you’ll always try to play the game again and again.

10. that I’m lucky I work at home and can see my little kids grow up into spoiled, lovable little imps.

Its been awhile, I know but a lot of things have happened and I just don’t have the time to do a lot of stuff – one of which is blogging. I have  a lot of unfinished business to take care of first before I get back on the bandwagon and it being the new year although 19 days too late I have to clean up my act and make good on my promises most especially to myself.

Having said that, I can now move on to the important part – my New Year’s Resolution or my lack thereof. I don’t have a New Year’s Resolution, I stopped making one years and years ago. You see, I don’t want to make the New Year an excuse to make a “New Me” or a “Better Me”, it just wouldn’t work for me.  But I am trying to make the best of myself not because its a whole new year but because I want to.

And I want to start by raising awareness and to at least do my part in giving the people of Haiti a voice. I won’t elaborate on the suffering because the television, internet and all types of media are full of that. I don’t want to rub salt to an already very open wound, all I want is to light a candle, offer prayers and give space for websites dedicated to alleviating the fear and suffering of Haiti.

I also want to share a miracle, two miracles in fact, amidst all the chaos and misery that is present worldwide and although this catastrophic event might seem like God’s fury to those in the midst of it (I would feel the same way), still God finds a way to show us that there is hope for us. Why else would He save two babies five and six days after the earthquake without food and water? Why save these innocent babies while countless others are suffering and thousands dead? Why indeed…

There is a reason for everything, we might not know it now but someday, somehow we’ll know and when we do, we won’t be as miserable and as hateful as now. Hate and sorrow are two emotions that go hand in hand, we all have to deal with it, we all have to experience it. But how you learn from it is your decision alone. I don’t know how I would fare if I am put in the same situation but this is all I can do for now – to light a virtual candle for all the dead, dying, suffering, wounded people especially the innocent children of Haiti.

For the children of Haiti

Bloggers for Haiti Just Giving Page

Save The Children

DEC Haiti Earthquake appeal

UNICEF

shelterbox.org

Typhoon Ondoy has left for greener pastures but the devastation he left was almost too much to bear. Iloilo was not as hard hit, we had no power and no internet connection but it was only for two days. I just got back my connection and scoured the web for news and what I saw gave me goosebumps. We once lived and worked in the big city back in 2004 but we went back to Iloilo when I gave birth to my daughter. I never could raise a child in a hustle-bustle environment and from what I can see in the news and in amateur videos, I am now sure that I made the right choice.

I have friends and family in Luzon who I have not yet heard from, although I am now glad that my grandfather in Pasay survived the flood. I could not say the same for the millions of family left homeless by Ondoy, and my heart bleeds for those who have lost a loved one due to this recent onslaught of Nature. What went wrong? What really happened? Why did this happen? Is this Nature’s getback for the mindless corruption of her resources? The questions are endless, but answers are still nowhere to be found.

The Metro is full of people, and people from provinces keep on going to Metro Manila to try their luck in the big city. I for one was once part of the bandwagon but after spending a couple of years and seeing the illustrious and the infamous parts of the big city I came to realize that I could never live my life there. I’m more attuned to the slow-paced life of the province, where people are virtually untouched (almost) by technology. No skyscrapers covering the beautiful evening sky and the sun is not as harsh as it is in the Metro. I reckon, it must be because the sun was trying too hard to penetrate the smog covering the city…

My heart goes out to the people who have lost their homes, their possessions and most of all their loved ones. But instead of blaming the dam or blaming other people, they need to really think why this happened, is it because of their disregard for Mother Nature? Is it because they so heartlessly, tried to bleed out every ounce of Nature’s resources that Mother Earth had to take measures into her own hands and used a seemingly mild typhoon and turned it into a deadly Hand of Nature?

I do not have the answers to those questions, all I have are more questions. Why is this happening the world over? Is Nature finally retaliating? What can we do? Is there something we can still do for Mother Nature to rectify the damage that have accumulated over the years? Some people have already taken their stand to help protect Mother Nature, will you do the same?

I was browsing around when I saw this youtube video and somehow felt a great affinity to these people. I once dreamed of changing the world, of being recognized… but I never did fit the bill, I was too eccentric, and don’t seem to understand the word “NO”, I am a misfit and I might be crazy or seem crazy to some but I do like who I am now and I still dream of someday changing the way things are done… or maybe just to think back to the basics…

With the way things are done now, it has become more and more difficult to change the rules and go out of line of the status quo. That is why to think different at these times are easier, a lot of people are trying to make it by thinking different, by breaking the rules, by rebelling against the norms. And with everyone “thinking differently” it just makes no difference…

I believe it might be time to go back to the basics… But the video below is a fitting embodiment of those people who dared to think different when being different was shunned.

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify and vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as crazy, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

Its a beautiful day. The heat may be unforgiving, problems may abound, money may be low, dreams may fade…
Don’t worry, its still a beautiful day. The fact that you are still alive, your families and friends are beside you, and God will never leave you no matter what you think.

You may cry, you may whine, you may tear your clothes and your hair but remember hope will never fade, it will always be there hiding until you have the temerity to open your eyes and notice the simple things, the little, inconsequential things of life. More often than not, these are the things that abound in hope and hope abounds in them.

There may be times that failure is more easier to accept than hope. It may seem that failure is more tangible than hope, which makes it all the more convincing. Don’t be convinced. Failure is just the culmination of your fears, of your lack of faith in yourself, lack of faith in the people around you who loves you more than you think possible. Failure is failure if you let it be. Take charge of your life and look at failure as a bitter pill to swallow. Accept it, and see it as it really is – A Challenge. Remember, failures are just challenges in wolves’ clothings. You just need to open your eyes and your heart and everything will fall into place.

You do not need to do anything, just open your mind, open your heart and the realization that it is always a beautiful day no matter what will come. Failures are challenges and problems are merely detours on your way to success. It is a beautiful day.

I found this really enlightening poem about women and I would like to share it to all of you…

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don’t take “no” for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have the compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

A lonely little girl living in a little shack by the mountain side once wanted to have a pet – it does not matter what kind of pet as long as she has one. There is one problem though; the little girl has barely enough to feed herself, certainly not enough to feed a pet. But she wanted a pet with all her heart that she is even willing to give her pet half of whatever food she gets. The little girl patiently waited for her pet to come, day after day, she would spend her waking hours looking out the window hoping, yearning for a pet that may never come.

On the other side of the mountain, a sad little red pig, shunned by others of his kind because of his funny red color cried himself to sleep every night. With no friend to comfort him, he wandered the mountain side and came upon the little girl’s shack. The little red pig wanted to knock but he was afraid. Very afraid. What if whoever lives there would turn him away? He could not face another rejection. He could not face being laughed at again. So he turned away without knocking. Just then, the little girl came to the window and saw the little pig slowly walking away from her door, from her life. She quickly ran outside and called the little pig.

“Little pig, I love your lovely color, will you be my pet? Will you be my friend?”

The little pig could not believe his ears, he could not believe his eyes. Is this a dream? The little pig slowly turned around and walked towards the little girl, “Are you for real?”, asks the little pig, “Do you really want me to be your friend? What are you going to do with an ugly red pig like me? You are better off with another pet, any pet.”

“But it is you I want, you have such a lovely color. Do you know that red is my favorite? And you are my favorite pig. Please stay with me, I am so lonely.”

A little tear fell from the little pig’s eyes and the little girl hugged the little pig, comforting him, and he comforting her. Both found what they were looking for and both knew they belonged to each other. The little girl and the little red pig help each other face each day, it does not matter if they have barely enough to eat, as long as they’re together the bad times turn into good times and suffering is not as unbearable as before. Together they face each problem, together they lived not happily ever after – life after all is not a fairy tale – but as comfortable as possible. They are content, they have each other. Never again will they be lonely, never again will they face problems alone. The little Red Pig and the Little Girl are no longer sad or lonely. They have each other and in their hearts and minds that make up for everything they’ve been through.

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be.

That’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down.

But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself

Your presence is a present to the world.
You are unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You will make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.

Do not put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal and your prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.
Do not take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot … goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life’s treasures are people together.

Realize that it is never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have hearth and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a star.

AND DO NOT EVER FORGET ….
FOR EVEN A DAY
HOW VERY SPECIAL YOU ARE !

Being frustrated is something that I could barely handle. I do not exactly know what has been happening to me these past few days. But these few days have been very hard for me, I even began to think that 2008 must be a bad year for me. I don’t want to spread gloom all around, it is definitely not like me but I’m just feeling too down that somehow I have to air it out. Actually, I have a good life, we have enough to get us through each day, so I should be contented, right? I know I should but somehow I don’t. I feel as if there is something else missing, something that I could not get my hands into. I believe I am falling apart.

I feel like I am staring into an invincible brick wall and every time I try to surpass it, it just keeps getting higher and higher. I do not want this to go on but I just could not find a way to break that brick wall. My children, I love them so much and I would give up my life for them yet they could not alleviate the pain and the frustration that I am feeling right now. My husband, even him could not give me peace of mind. I just want to be by myself, away from everything familiar. I do not know why and honestly I do not want to know. I am afraid that I might find out something that I do not want to face nor understand. Somehow, it feels like everything that I know, everyone that I love, everything about me does not feel right.

It sounds bad, I know. And I really should stop but I couldn’t. I just feel that I have to do something for me and not because someone that I love wants me to do it or because someone asks me to do it. I have always lived my life trying to please other people and until now I did not realize how frustrating it could be. Friends have told me how gullible I am, how I am always ready to help without thinking if I should or not. As impossible as it might seem to them, I actually know and am aware of that. I am aware that some people are using me and I let them. I know I should stop, but I don’t know how.

It really does not help my self-esteem. I makes me all the more frustrated and it does not help anyone. It is bad I know. I did not know what to do, so I did what I think could give me back some of my self-esteem. I scoured the web for something, anything… And I came up with this wonderful poem, it helped me a lot. If you feel the same way I do, if you are close to falling apart, I hope it will help you too…

Sometimes We Need To Fall Apart

We don’t always have to be strong. Sometimes our strength is expressed in being vulnerable. Sometimes we need to fall apart to regroup and stay on track. We all have days when we cannot push any harder, cannot hold back self-doubt, cannot stop focusing on fear, cannot be strong.

There are days when we cannot focus on being responsible. Sometimes we cry in front of people. We expose our tiredness, irritability, or anger. Those days are okay.

Part of taking care of ourselves means we give ourselves permission to “fall apart” when we need to. We do not need to be perpetual towers of strength. We ARE strong. We have proven that our strength will continue if we allow ourselves the courage to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable when we need to experience those feelings.

Today, help me to know that it is okay to allow myself to be human. Help me not to feel guilty or punish myself when I need to “fall apart.”

— Author Unknown —